


second chances

by smutsonian



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Asshole steve rogers, Break Up, F/M, Mentions of Abortion, Miscarriage, NSA relationship, Pregnancy, Unrequited Love, poor medical explanations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:13:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25284445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smutsonian/pseuds/smutsonian
Summary: fruithot asked:OMG!! I'm so happy that your request thang is finallyyyy open!!! can you write something where Steve left you and your unborn child for Peggy(all of you are in present time) then he comes back after 7years?
Relationships: Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers/Reader, reader/oc
Comments: 16
Kudos: 125





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> warnings: angst, not PROOFREAD, kind of an asshole steve, talks about pregnancy & abortion & miscarriage, brief NSA type of relationship, unrequited love, yn is annoyingly nice?

You were both going through something when you first met. He was grieving his break up with Peggy while you were grieving your partner’s infidelity. It started off with a no strings attached type of agreement but after a few months, you both agreed to make it exclusive and put a title on your relationship. That’s when Steve Rogers became your boyfriend.

Your relationship with him was filled with physical, mental, and emotional attraction. At least, that’s what you thought. The first few months were sickeningly sweet while the first year was filled with misunderstandings that you managed to overcome, resulting in a much stronger relationship. At the three years mark of your relationship with Steve, things started to become different. He seemed to be distant and you get easily irritated with that fact. That ensued a lot of arguments until one day, you realized why you get so easily irritated by anything he does. Or anything at all.

You went to go see a doctor for a checkup as Wanda insisted. You met her through Steve and the both of you instantly hit it off and became the best of friends. The girl was really protective and you got the chance to figure that out when she dragged you to the hospital when she saw you puking at the bathroom when you were out on a breakfast date with her. 

The news that came from the doctor brought tears to your eyes. Not quite sure if it’s from joy, fear, shock, or regret. The doctor announced that you’ve been carrying an infant for at least a month and that’s probably the reason behind your mood swings and morning sickness (or sickness in general). Deciding to keep the news a secret from Steve for a while may have been the best and worst decision you’ve made in your entire life.

The following weeks consisted of you thinking about the possible choices you had for the growing bean inside of you. If you were being honest, you weren’t ready to become a mother yet. The doctor gave you a bunch of brochures about possible choices but you later found yourself disregarding them when you warmed up to the idea of having a baby in your arms that will come out of your own body. A baby of your own. 

You became so excited, daydreaming about how you’ll be designing a nursery room for your baby and all that. Even Wanda got so excited that she ended up buying a few bags of baby products for both a girl and a boy. You’ve been so caught up with your situation that you failed to see the battle that Steve’s been struggling with. Something that would later become your struggle as well.

Another few weeks and you were back in the hospital for another ultrasound session. Wanda came with you, too excited for her soon to be god-daughter/god-nephew. You told her that you would be telling Steve about the baby that night after getting the ultrasound picture and she was nothing but excited and supportive with you. “Steve would be so happy, I can see it!” 

Turns out, that plan was never going to happen because the doctor announced that your baby lost their heartbeat and failed to show up at the scan. You were supposed to be three months pregnant with the baby but the doctor said that it happens. Stillbirth and ectopic pregnancy is what he called it. He advised you to come back to him the next day so you can talk about the procedures you should undergo to keep yourself healthy and safe.

You were miserable. You were sad, angry, and numb at the same time. You cried after the doctor left the room and Wanda cried with you. You were supposed to tell Steve about the pregnancy and now, you don’t even know what to tell him anymore. “Call him. You still have to tell him. You shouldn’t go through this alone, Y/N. I’m sure he’ll understand and I’m sure he’ll be right there for you.” Wanda runs her hand softly along your cheek before nodding at you when you take your phone out. 

Scrolling through your contacts, it started vibrating when Steve’s name pops up on your screen before you could even call him. You answered immediately before putting it against your ear. “Steve?” Your voice was scratchy from crying and he seemed to have picked up on it. “Y/N? Are you okay?” His voice sounded tired yet alert against your ear. “Yeah… No. Not really…” You mumbled, looking at Wanda with nervous eyes as she nodded at you encouragingly. “What happened?” He asks. “I’ll tell you later… I need to tell you something—” You were cut off by him. “Me too. I have to tell you something as well.” He sighs through the phone and rustling was heard and you could imagine him rubbing his large palms down his face in a stressful manner. He’s stressed. He’s been going through something as well and you’re about to find out why.

* * *

After Wanda dropped you off at your shared house with Steve, you braced yourself for the inevitable outcome you’ve been thinking about. You don’t know if it’s from the loss of your baby but you found yourself being negative about everything that’s about to happen. During the ride home with Wanda, you thought about where your relationship with Steve stood and you failed to see anything that made the bond between the both of you. There was nothing and you had an idea about what he’s about to tell you. He was always out and you were always busy planning for your baby that the both of you didn’t even have time for each other, other than the late-night ‘lovemaking’ (if you can even call it that).

You went inside and walked towards the kitchen when you heard him call out for you. “In here!” 

You found him sitting in front of the table and he motioned for you to take a seat in front of him. You obeyed and gulped at the seriousness of the atmosphere. He nods once you’re seated before placing his hands in front of him and clasping them together. “So… Who goes first?” He asks, awkward tension filling the space around you. “Geez… Why do I feel like I murdered someone? Shake it off, will ya?” You manage to joke, shrugging your shoulders playfully and earning a smile and a chuckle from Steve. His smile disappears and he looks down at the table before playing with his fingers when the tension comes back again. “You go first.” You softly say, giving him an encouraging smile and nodding when he looks at you nervously. “Go on—”

“Peggy’s back.”

Peggy. The girl who left Steve because she had to fly back to England to take care of their family business after her father died. The girl who was forced to leave Steve for the sake of her family. The girl who had to leave the man who’d loved her with all his heart. A tragic love story though it seems like it doesn’t have to be so tragic anymore. You knew how much Steve loved that woman. You knew how much Steve loves that woman. You never had the chance to meet her but you know that she’s one hell of a woman. Then, you realized why Steve was so nervous about this talk. You realized what or who he’s been preoccupied with while _you_ were preoccupied with your baby. 

“Oh…” Was the only thing that came out of your lips. You sighed, drowning in your own thoughts as you mentally surrendered. You had no match with _the_ Peggy Carter. Hell, you were supposed to be just a distraction so he can forget the pain she left him. 

“Say something…” Steve reaches for your hands across the table, eyes begging for you to speak. 

“I-I don’t know what to say, Steve…” You let out a sigh before squeezing his hands and looking at his glistening blue eyes. “Are you… Is she- Are you back with her?” You bit your lip absentmindedly as you waited for his answer. His eyebrows shot up and he shook his head from side to side. “N-no. No! I would never do anything with her. Not while I’m with you…” He sighed, looking away from your gaze as he pulled his hand away from yours. You saw him flinch when you let out a dry chuckle. “So that’s what this is about, huh?” You watch him as he looks back up at you, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. You press your tongue against the inside of your left cheek before nodding understandingly. “You wanna officially break things off with me so you can get back with her, right?” 

You watch as he uncomfortably shifts on his chair while avoiding eye contact with you. “I’m not mad at you, Steve. I always knew that I would never be as good as Peggy. I know that you’ll never love me like you did with her. I know that you’ll never love anyone but her. I knew that you would never love me—” 

“You can’t do that!” Steve suddenly yaps, eyes glaring at you. “You can’t tell me what I feel and who I can or can’t love. You can’t… You just don’t do that. You can’t… Don’t make me sound like a bad guy.” He breathes out before pressing rubbing his palms down his face frustratingly. 

“Steve… I’m not saying that you’re a bad guy. I’m just telling you what I think is the truth—”

“You don’t know anything about how I feel!” He yells, surprising you. He stands up and you copy his actions absentmindedly before watching his face turn red with every word. “Peggy might have a special place in my heart but that doesn’t mean I’m incapable of loving another person, Y/N. People move on. They move on and start anew with other people, okay? People are capable of moving on—” 

“Are you?” You cut him off, giving him a bitter smile before repeating yourself. “Are you capable of moving on, Steve? Have you moved on from Peggy?” You waited for his reply but it never came. Instead, he strayed from the topic.

“What was it that you’re planning on telling me.” His voice was shaky as his eyes refused to look at yours.

“I’m pregnant.” You spat and his head snapped up as he looked at you with wide eyes. “I was pregnant.” You let out a shaky breath before sitting back down, Steve urgently walking over to your side and kneeling in front of you. He placed his hands on your lap before looking at you with worried eyes. “What happened?” He asks.

“I was supposed to tell you tonight that I’m three months pregnant. I was supposed to give you an ultrasound picture of our baby. I was supposed to find out the gender—” You were cut off by your own cries and Steve pulled you in for a quick hug before you pulled away to continue. “Then suddenly, the baby's gone…” Your cries continued and Steve did nothing but to hold you close as you grieved over your miscarriage. 

After you were drained and no more tears were falling, Steve pulls away and looks at you with conflict in his eyes. “Maybe it’s for the best? Are you even ready for a baby?” He asks. Your body becomes cold and you were seeing nothing but red.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” You push him off as you stand up, him following suit.

“What?” He asks, eyebrows contorting in confusion.

“I don’t know if you’re just insensitive or just being an asshole.” Your jaw clenches in anger and he shakes his head animatedly. “What? Just because I asked about us being ready for a kid?” 

“You didn’t. You asked if _I_ was ready for a kid.” You poked his chest and his eyes widened in realization. 

“Y/N, I—”

“Tell me, Steve. Do you even see a future with me?” You tilt your head to the side, waiting for his answer that never came. You shook your head before looking back at him and licking your teeth before smiling bitterly at him. “Let me rephrase that. Do you see a future with Peggy?” You waited for an answer and this time, he replied. “Stop this, Y/N… Don’t do this…” He reaches for you but you move away from him. 

“Just do it, Steve. Do whatever it is you planned on doing when you said you wanted to have a talk.” You crossed your arms and waited for him to speak.

“Y/N, I can’t. Not when you’re like this…” He tries to reach for you again but you slap his hand away, uncrossing your arms and pointing a finger at him. “Fine. If you can’t do it then I’ll do it for you.” You hiss and his face falls at your words.

“I’m breaking up with you.” You bite on your tongue until you taste the copper taste of your own blood. Wiping your mouth with the back of your hand, you walk towards the front door with Steve following you quietly. You stop just in front of the door, looking at Steve over your shoulder before sighing. 

“Not everyone gets a second chance, Steve.” Your hand unconsciously runs over your stomach. “You’re lucky enough to have one with Peggy. I wish the both of you the best… I mean it.” You fully turn towards him before walking up to him and pressing a kiss on his lips, pulling away with a sad smile and walking back to the door and leaving the man behind.


	2. part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> summary: what happens after the break up?
> 
> warnings: angst, super inaccurate medical stuff, break up, pregnancy, sad and angsty reader, if easily offended by things please don’t read this or proceed with caution, aint proofread

You spent the next days wallowing in pain (whether it’s from the heartache or your body giving up on you). You spent the next few days at Wanda’s while she comforted you when the news about Steve and Peggy reuniting and getting back together was spread by mutual friends. You wanted him to be happy and he’ll only be able to be just that with her. You kept telling yourself that the heartbreak would soon die down. Miraculously, it did… Somehow…

You were supposed to visit the doctor the day after the break-up but it completely slipped out of your mind. Well… Maybe you really just didn’t want to go out and be reminded of another failure you’ve managed to do. Wanda was wary of your decisions but gave you the space you needed. She let you mourn until you got frighteningly ill. Your skin wasn’t doing well, you’re in constant pain from cramps, and the last straw for Wanda is when your nose started to bleed after your puking session in her bathroom. 

She quickly drove you to the hospital, frantic when you got there and demanding the front desk to let you see Doctor Rodríguez, the one who checked up on you the past few visits. With Wanda’s connections (and hostility), you managed to get an on the spot appointment with the doctor. 

Dr. Rodríguez was disappointed when he saw you, gently berating you about following doctor’s orders. He was so worried that he didn’t see you until a week later. He told you about the dangers that you put your body in but somehow, you weren’t really worried about yourself that much unlike Wanda, who was almost crying at the idea of you dying. Dr. Rodríguez had to calm her down, promising her that you’re in good hands.

Dr. Rodríguez told you about the procedures that you’ll possibly undergo. He said something about medicines and surgery if all things fail (which caused Wanda to have another breakdown which the doctor miraculously stopped after lecturing her about the surgery not being necessary). He told you that he’ll have to do another ultrasound scan and the next few moments were almost a blur to you.

The familiar coldness of the gel was felt and the room was quiet as the doctor slid the transducer along your belly. The doctor was squinting at the monitor while you and Wanda were staring at each other, silently encouraging each other to not burst out in tears at the lack of life when—

***Thump***

***Thump***

The familiar sound of a heartbeat resonated around the room and your head snapped towards the machine and then towards the doctor who was staring wildly at the monitor with a genuine smile. 

“Well, I guess dodging that appointment did you good, Y/N.” He smiles at you and chuckles at Wanda who was gawking at the monitor. 

“I’m sorry, are you saying that…” Wanda wasn’t able to finish her sentence from excitement and the doctor only nodded at her before looking back at you with a supportive smile. He pats your shoulder before nodding.

“Congratulations. You’re having a baby boy. This one’s a hider!” He chuckles before pointing at the bean on the monitor.

He explained how some infants weren’t able to be picked up by the scanner and that it was rare and he too was surprised at the news. He also said something about chances as he pointed out that the baby would’ve been aborted if you came to him the day after your last appointment.

Your eyes watered in joy as you looked back at your baby boy, eyes widening when you felt a pressure on your belly. “I think he just kicked” Your eyes fell towards Wanda, quickly scrambling to put her hand over your belly.

Your baby kicked again as if to show off and Wanda gawked at you before squealing and hugging the doctor in blinded happiness. You started sobbing and laughing at the miracle that you’ve been blessed with.

Looks like you and your baby boy were given a second chance as well…

* * *

Your words kept repeating in Steve’s head. 

_‘Not everyone gets a second chance, Steve.’_

He hated how he’s the reason for you looking so dejected in front of him. He did love you. He did care for you. At least that’s what he thinks. He felt something different when he’s with you and you made him forget all about the pain Peggy caused but… Peggy’s back and all the feelings that you managed to make him forget all came barreling back to him.

_‘Not everyone gets a second chance, Steve.’_

Steve realizes how he was able to get a second chance with Peggy while you didn’t even have a chance with your child at all. His child as well. Steve curses at himself for realizing how shitty it is for him to put all the weight on you about the child that the both of you created. You had to go through all of that alone. From the moment that you found out that you’re pregnant to the moment that you figured out that you lost your baby. His baby. And fuck, he even had the fucking audacity to tell you that you aren’t ready for a baby yet. What the fuck was he thinking?

_‘Not everyone gets a second chance, Steve.’_

Steve stares back at his reflection. He shaved his beard and cut his hair just like how Peggy always wanted. He remembers the way that your fingers used to tangle his hair and how you always rubbed his scruff so happily… He doesn’t know if he would miss how you were with him but he knows that he doesn’t deserve you. He’s too cruel to you.

_‘Not everyone gets a second chance, Steve.’_

Steve gives a small smile to Peggy who crosses the street to meet him with a big and bright smile. Her dress flowing because of the wind and lips as red as cherry. 

_‘Not everyone gets a second chance, Steve.’_

Steve gets to have a second chance with Peggy… He just hopes that this second chance is what he actually wanted and needed because he doubts that a certain person would actually give him a second chance.

He just hopes that he made the right decision.

* * *

“Are you going to tell him?” Wanda asked as she watched you rub your growing stomach through your dress. You sighed before shaking your head. “It’s pretty clear to me that he wasn’t ready for any of this, Wanda… Let alone with me.” You murmured that last sentence but your best friend still heard it as she shook her head at you disapprovingly.

“Besides—” You start before Wanda could even talk again. “—He seems to be in a really good place with Peggy. He looks really happy, Wanda… I can’t do that to him. He doesn’t have to give his happiness up just because he knocked me up. We don’t know how Peggy will react if they both find out. They’re both happy and I don’t want to ruin that.” You shake your head at her, silently begging her to just drop the subject.

“What about you, Y/N.” She deadpans.

“What about me?” You question her, a little bit dumbfounded.

“Are you happy?” She asks, face contorting into a sad smile.

You bit your bottom lip before looking down and sighing. “I can be…” You whisper before looking back up at her with a confident smile as you rubbed your swollen stomach through the thin fabric. You gave her a firm nod.

“I will be”

—–

**_an: didn’t really gave y’all a happy ending but y/n is doing a bit better :’)_ **


End file.
